Yesterday, I went to the farmers market (overstimulating; people saying: hey you excuse me ma’am all that I ran away lol) to get duck eggs (only slightly bigger than XL chicken eggs, almost translucent thick shells; smallest quantity was one dozen at one dollar each no tax yay). I just wanted one.

So what to do with one dozen duck eggs? First, I did my original plan: Betty Crocker cookie taste test. Results? No discernible difference in the batter or cooked texture. That’s good to know! We also refrigerated the cookies for an hour or so beforehand, and used a proper oven and measured 4 ounces each of chocolate chips and walnuts for each batter, and the cookies came out great. We baked them for 9 minutes and 30 seconds. Mom and dad said they were the best we ever made!

Nice, success there. So we have 11 duck eggs left (for speed and my own personal enjoyment, I shall henceforth be calling them deggs).

Scrolling through my favorite recipes, I was reminded of a difficult but tasty bread I braved to make in my college apartment: brioche. It required SEVEN eggs in total; I remember being flabbergasted by this amount. It would be a perfect way to use up my eggs.

Deggs, unlike the humble chicken egg (chegg), have a lot more protein, fats, and vitamins, and just have a whole lot more to them. Bakers and scientists, beware: this next part is going to get sticky.

I followed the recipe to the letter, but of course step one is when it all falls apart. My foam or whatever did not rise, but I went with it anyways because I did not want to waste yeast or my 45 minutes to what was probably just my kitchen on a cold January morning.

I added the six eggs (the seventh is reserved for an egg wash later) and beat for nigh on 20 minutes despite the recipe instructing specifically 10 to 13 minutes. The dough decidedly did not pull away from the sides of the bowl like a good little gluten ball, and instead retained a sticky snotty even soupy quality throughout the beating. Using my cook’s instincts (exact measurements lovers look away now) I dumped in spoonfuls of flour, beat, then added more until I was satisfied. Not that the dough ever came away from the sides.

At this part I added probably 1 1/2 cups of extra flour to balance out the degg-chegg liquid discrepancy, and you’re just going to have to trust my eyeballing on that. I added the butter 1 tablespoon at a time, and the lube seemed to work perfectly to encourage the dough to abandon its beloved steel walls. I let the dough rise for about 45 minutes, which it did amazingly, punched it down, separated into balls, folded, and shoved into three little baking tins. The recipe rather called for two big ones, but you gotta work with what you have. I let it rise a second time.

During all this, I had been baking the cookies (conveniently) at the same 375° temperature, doing taste tests, eating barbecue lunch outside on a toasty 84° day with a light breeze. We got the smoky char on the marinated chicken, ate bright pops of strawberries, and I had a light lemon Radler and sipped on Fallout sodas. The combination of the good food, family, laughter, and sunshine- oh, and it’s January- was fantastic. Does life get any better than this? I’m calling it: winter is officially over in Southern California. The sun is setting at 5:10 instead of 4:00, and soon we’ll get those long summer days that feel like they go on forever, and the whole world is out there waiting and there’s so much life to live.

But first- spring. And our deggs.

My brioche, like spring, popped out unexpectedly and with abundance. My family all burst out a laugh when each wandered into the kitchen, catching a glimpse of the experiments I had lined up. The bread is surprisingly flaky (thank you butter), fluffy, and lightly sweet. I had added a teaspoon of almond extract to add a little something something, but it was washed out by all that bread. Maybe more next time? The tins were small, so I baked at 375° for 20 instead of 30 minutes, and the loaves were perfect despite duck eggs and additional flour and agonizing. Next time I might add five deggs instead of six into the dough so I don’t have to overbeat the dough or add too much extra flour.

I know what you’re thinking: but Casey, what will you do with the four leftover eggs? I know you’ve been keeping track, and I’m excited because today I’ll be making every Italian’s favorite: carbonara.

Long story short: It’s amazing! Yes, you can make it with bacon, and it’s genuinely my favorite college staple easy meal. It SHOULD be made with pancetta (which can be bought at Italian markets and even some grocery stores, usually chopped into bits in a little clear package), and even SHOULD-ER be made with guanciale (which can be bought in Italy or summoned via cultish sacrifice once a blue moon). But bacon also works- just make sure it isn’t smoked or cured so it doesn’t taste like BBQ as you eat. Unless you like that kind of thing.

Also, make it with Pecorino Romano, which is salty and dissolves easily.

This meal is so easy and so good! I can’t not share it.

Ingredients

2 duck eggs
2 duck egg yolks
100g/3.5 oz pecorino romano or parmigiano reggiano
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 box spaghetti noodles
1/2 cup pasta cooking water
1 pack bacon, pancetta, or guanciale unsmoked and uncured

Instructions

Boil water and cook your pasta according to package instructions
Cook your salty meats in the pan (no need to add a fat like olive oil or butter- it's fatty enough on its own!)
Once the pasta is cooked, remove the pasta and set aside. Save the water, at least 1/2 cup
Whisk together the eggs and yolks, cheese, and pepper
Add the pasta to the pan with the cooked meats, turn off the heat, and add the whisked egg mixture. Work fast, stirring and adding the pasta water to loosen the sauce and emulsify it. This part is tricky- you want to keep it moving so it doesn't scramble the eggs and get chunky. It'll still taste good, but the texture will be thrown off, so keep stirring and make sure the heat is off.
Add more salt and pepper to taste, and anatra! You're done!

My mom’s beautiful plate:

Versus my weirdo concoction (adding Trader Joe’s brushetta sauce and red pepper flake was actually sooooo bomb. Make it if you aren’t afraid of flavor!)