Self Care Night
Self care looks different for everybody, and even on each individual, depends on what mental and physical state they’re in. Sometimes, it looks like a warm vanilla scented bubble bath with fancy candles a glass of wine a box of chocolates and a good book- not to mention the exfoliation and skincare routine to follow. For others, especially those with depression or who are struggling more with their daily lives, self care can look like getting out of bed in the morning. Self care is a range. For me, lately, my self care often looks like the steps I have below, which NEVER fail to make me feel mentally and physically healthy and soothed. Another way I like to look at self care is self-soothing, because oftentimes we forget to take care of ourselves in the way that someone who might love us would. Let me know your favorite self care tips below, and if you’ve tried any of mine!
- Alone Time
Usually, when I’m stressed, being around others tends to make that feeling worse. You know when you’re cooking in the kitchen and there are five other people milling about, getting in the way, and they’re starving and you’re behind? That’s what being around others feels like when I’m in a mood. Taking a second to get a break away from noise is a huge help in calming my nerves. I find a quiet bathroom, bedroom, or corner of somewhere, preferably outside and in nature, and practice breathing techniques.
- 2. Hot Shower
Like I frog, I like to slowly warm the water until it’s boiling my skin off. This helps me get back into my body, and focus on the physical rather than mental state. Getting clean helps your body, but also, in a placebo effect sort of way, feels like a mental cleanse too, trust me.
- 3. Wash Your Sheets
Yes, I know this sounds like chores, but nothing feels better than this when you’re feeling low or sickly. Taking a hot shower and drying off with dirty towels and getting into dirty PJs and then into a dirty bed just doesn’t feel the same as when it’s all fresh and clean and smelling like your favorite fabric softener. I like to throw in a couple of delicious looking laundry packets, fabric softener (Downy fresh, I’m a pleb), and a scoop of Oxy clean with bleach, since all of my sheets and towels are white. I usually just do two loads. If you don’t want to do this, easy, just switch out your PJs and towels, and even sheets if you have an extra set, and plan on doing the laundry another day. I think part of the self care for me is getting chores done so they’re off my mind. I like cozy sweats, a good old sleep tee hand me down from my dad, and a fuzzy sock and robe combo from Costco. People sleep on robes (heh), as they’re just portable blankets that keep you warm! If you don’t have one, try one out, they’re so comfy!
- 4. Slather Yourself in Cocoa Butter
After a day of laundry and cleaning, stepping out of a hot shower and slathering on Palmer’s cocoa butter feels like such a luxurious reward. It’s cheap, super moisturizing, and smells like a cross between vanilla and chocolate that isn’t overly sweet. The smell stays, too! This is the best thing for wintertime when your skin is feeling dry and ashy. The best time to apply is after a warm shower and your pores are all open, so you can lock in that moisture!
- 5. Stretch or Yoga
Now that you’re all cozy, warm, and limber, stretch out your sore muscles from the day with an easy to follow yoga or stretching routine! If you just want a simple one, I like to touch my toes for 30 seconds, then sit on the ground with one leg outstretched and the other tucked in and touch my toes there, then switch sides. The first one stretches out my hamstrings, while the second one stretches my back which feels divine after a long day of work.
- 6. Tea and a Small Snack
Tea is an easy way to feel warm and cozy and self soothed. I love my sleepy time tea or throat coat tea for sick days. Add some honey for a little bit of sweetness. Don’t do caffeine, as that’ll interrupt your sleep! For snacks, I love something like a quick bag of popcorn (Costco is the best brand for buttery but not soaked kernels), mixed nuts, peanut butter and banana, yogurt mixed with fruit then frozen then covered in chocolate (in a pinch, just stir all these ingredients together and enjoy!), jam and yogurt, an easy brownie mix, or, if you’re in the mood for baking, my two favorite cookie recipes: Betty Crocker’s recipe (that I edited just a bit), and espresso brownie cookies for a rich, chocolatey crunch. I listed these snacks in order of least difficult to most, and most rely in pantry ingredients. All in all, don’t feel bad about just snacking on chocolate. However, you’re treating yourself, so perhaps have something a little bit more higher quality than movie theater candy!
- 7. Journaling
Journaling feels like therapy-light to me. You’re talking about your problems to someone who listens impartially, which, for a lot of people, is a major reason to speak to a therapist. Not saying that journaling will solve all of your problems, but I’ve often had therapists recommend that I journal for “homework” (therapy work outside of the office), so that’s more than enough for me to trust in its powers. Besides, I’ve been journalling since I was in elementary school, and I’ve seen how useful it can be to lay out all of your problems in a handy dandy notebook and then snap it shut for the evening. To me, journaling feels like talking to a friend about my issues, where I can just rant and be uncharitable to whatever is ruining my day, and know that they don’t hold it against me because I don’t really mean it all when I call an old coworker the nastiest skank I’ve ever met (okay, maybe a little). After ranting, always close off your journaling sesh by listing three things you’re grateful for right now. After an evening of self care, this should be easy, but also think to deeper things, like your health, family, friends, pets, food, and other things you may take for granted. Think bigger picture. Journaling will not cure your mental illnesses or make big problems disappear, but it can alleviate the pain and help you to focus on good things in life. Also list what you’re looking forward to, either tonight, tomorrow, or something in the next ten years. Change is inevitable. Let it happen.
- 8. Playing Video Games
After my heavy mental work of journaling, I love to just zone out and play video games. My favorites for days like this involve little concentration, like Heroes of the Storm, Valorant, Civilization 5, Portal, or iPhone games like Candy Crush and Temple Run. I like these because I can blast fun music (Spotify 2000s party mix; gotta listen to Beyoncé and Avril Lavigne as I blast portals until I get the right combination), whereas my other favorite games like Skyrim, Fallout, Baldur’s Gate 3, and Red Dead Redemption, involve more story and I can’t listen to music during it. Whatever you like to do to destress and unwind, indulge in it without holding back!
- 9. Brushing Your Teeth
Lastly, don’t forget to brush your teeth before bed. Taking care of your teeth, even when you’re so out of it it’s hard to get out of bed, is really important.
- 10. Sleep!
Catch some z’s! Sleep studies show that getting a proper night’s rest is crucial for mental and physical health. It’s the ultimate form of self-care. When I’m ready to hit the sack, I make sure my room is a sanctuary conducive to good sleep. This means no screens for at least an hour before bed, a cool room temperature, and a dark, quiet environment. I also find that a few drops of lavender oil on my pillow or a sleep mask can be really helpful. If my mind is racing, I try a guided meditation or some deep breathing exercises. Remember, quality sleep isn’t just about the hours you spend in bed; it’s about how restful and deep that sleep is. Ensuring a consistent bedtime and wake-up time also helps regulate your body’s internal clock, making it easier to fall asleep and wake up naturally. Sweet dreams and remember, your body and mind will thank you for this essential self-care practice.
Final Thoughts
Self-care is a deeply personal journey, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to listen to your body and mind, and respond with kindness and understanding. Whether it’s finding solace in solitude, indulging in a warm bath, or simply getting a good night’s sleep, each step you take towards self-care is a step towards a healthier, happier you. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s about giving ourselves the same kindness and care we give to others. As you try out these steps, or discover your own, embrace the journey of self-soothing and self-love. Your mind, body, and soul deserve it. Share your thoughts and experiences below, and let’s continue to support each other in our individual paths to wellness. Here’s to taking care of ourselves, one soothing step at a time!
